OMG my veggie friends, it's been quite some time. What can I say, I've been meeting with another blog and juggling two suitors at once has never been my style. I've always had the mindset that just one should meet all of your needs, and I've discovered that while this may be true with men, it's just not hitting the spot in the soul writing. While my other blog is permitting me to search the deep, dark, secret caves in my heart, this blog allows me to run free, with a smile on my face, leaping into sunshine. Balance folks, is key.
So, where were we?
Let me start by assuring you that yes, I am still a veggie. It's been 7 months and I continue to get the question, "So, are you still doing you whole, diet, vegetarian thing?" Yes I am. Originally I was a little irritated by the question but that's not fair to my carnivore friends. It is a big change and like new year resolutions, sometimes big changes only last a day or two. Gratefully, this change has permeated to my core and very similar to my faith in Christ, I don't expect to forget why I chose this and the better person I feel has emerged because of it. Hallelujah.
Big, big news my veggie friends. Smoke is out of the picture. yep, I dumped him. I still hesitate to say, FOREVER!, because well, to be honest, if something really horrific happened I may just run to the nearest store and snap him up before you could blink, shove him in my mouth, and suck really hard, just like any good girl does to get her fix.
But, maybe not. I'm taking it day by day. I'm hoping and praying he's not my master anymore. I don't want to drop to my knees for anyone that wants to hurt me any longer and let's face it - he was killing me.
It's been a little more than a month now. I wish I could say I had this huge epiphany and i suddenly realized all the great virtues of not smoking but that'd be one fat, gristle filled lie. Nope. Instead, I watched.
I watched someone I know quit smoking that's been well, like a smoking legend in my mind. I've discovered that all my smoking partners in crime have played a role in my life.
There's the Sunshine Party-Girl friend. Smoking with her was fun. We would light up with a twelve pack and giggle our asses off for hours. It was chick bonding without the drama of other chicks. A pack of smokes and a dozen empty cans later, we'd high five our throaty bedroom voices and yell to all the boys that drove by, "Is it you? Are you the one?" and then collapse into more giggles because at that time, "the one" was a joke.
There's the No Bullshit-I'm Honest to the Core-Best friend. Smoking with her was a ritual. Hours were spent talking, smoking, crying, laughing, discussing the ups and downs of life, endings of marriages (um yeah, those would be mine, two in fact), one night stands or lack thereof, raising kids, religion, and the craziness of just getting through life. We bonded on such a deep level over an ashtray, it was hard to imagine not having that anymore. How would we communicate now? And almost more troublesome, what the hell would we do with our hands?
Then we have The Other Half smoker. This of course refers to MY other half. My sounding board. My dork fest partner. My occasional head-butting competitor. At a very dark and scary time - my enemy.And now, the one that I never want to live without. Most evenings not so long ago, we could be found on our porch swing with a beer and smoke, talking about nothing and everything. Our discussions would span our workday, what was going on with the kids, our families, religion (wow - these would be a doozy. Sometimes I would go through an entire pack on these discussions - praise the Lawd!) our marriage, how our marriage might end, and how our marriage was saved.
We quit smoking together.
I confess, when there has been a weak moment, it has been mine.
There was one night, two weeks ago, and he found a smoke in the garage. Oh my - it was like he just told me he found a $100 bill and I could go shopping at Target and have ice cream after. I was freakin' ecstatic! Giddy I tell you, I couldn't wait to get my lips on that thing. We decided to share and prepared ourselves. Slippers, jackets, beers, and oh crap - where is a lighter? For the love of....!?! Are there any matches in this house?! Ah, yes! It was raining so we went into the garage and lit it up.
I have to admit, it wasn't all I had hoped for. My expectations were way too high. It was like going on a date with a really hot guy, or ok wait, maybe a really funny guy so he looks hotter than he really is. Ok, he doesn't look hot at all but you're trying not to be a bitch about it. He's just funny. Conversation is good, laughs are abundant and so is the alcohol. Next thing you know,. making out, clothes are off and then ...whoa nelly! Where is it?? And then, even worse because you've already made all these excuses for him; it's how you work it, it's chilly in here, the alcohol..... but......that's it?? Already? Really?
yeah, it was kind of like that.
So, that's the last one I have had. Not that I haven't craved one. Because I have. But then I think of the funny guy with the small weenie and it kills it for me.
Then there's The Legend Smoker. Now I don't want to overdo it here so don't let the name fool you. I call him this because well, it seems like he has always smoked, that he always would smoke, and he didn't really give a shit what you thought of him smoking although he was never rude or obnoxious about it. You know, the way legends should be. Except that he quit. Just like that. Bought some gum and started chewing.
I watched him and I was amazed.
He did what I didn't think I could do. He abandoned our smoking circle to go off on his own and quit. Quietly. No blog. No facebook. No fanfare. Just quit. And as far as I know, he still isn't smoking.
It was a domino effect. I decided I wanted to quit too. My Other Half was with me. My Party Girl friend had already quit as well as my No Bullshit-I'm Honest to the Core-Best friend. I was the last to go. But I went.
It hasn't all been easy. there were days when I would have been quite happy to rip my own face off or chew my hand to the bone. One night while I was arguing with my ex, I frantically looked for my package of Don't Smoke Dummy gum and shoved in one piece, then two, then 3 pieces of gum at once. I chewed viciously until my jaw started popping.
But here I am. Still Smoke free. yay!
I don't know what my label would be, how I would be described. Addicted is what I was. Addicted is what I still am.
I'm just abstaining. For now, today, and hopefully, forever.
My veggie body feels amazing. No more bad food. No more bad sugar. No more bad soda. And now, no more bad rat poison. Sweet.
It's been awesome my veggie friends. I have so much more bubbling up inside me. Until next time..... :)
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So, where were we?
Let me start by assuring you that yes, I am still a veggie. It's been 7 months and I continue to get the question, "So, are you still doing you whole, diet, vegetarian thing?" Yes I am. Originally I was a little irritated by the question but that's not fair to my carnivore friends. It is a big change and like new year resolutions, sometimes big changes only last a day or two. Gratefully, this change has permeated to my core and very similar to my faith in Christ, I don't expect to forget why I chose this and the better person I feel has emerged because of it. Hallelujah.
Big, big news my veggie friends. Smoke is out of the picture. yep, I dumped him. I still hesitate to say, FOREVER!, because well, to be honest, if something really horrific happened I may just run to the nearest store and snap him up before you could blink, shove him in my mouth, and suck really hard, just like any good girl does to get her fix.
But, maybe not. I'm taking it day by day. I'm hoping and praying he's not my master anymore. I don't want to drop to my knees for anyone that wants to hurt me any longer and let's face it - he was killing me.
It's been a little more than a month now. I wish I could say I had this huge epiphany and i suddenly realized all the great virtues of not smoking but that'd be one fat, gristle filled lie. Nope. Instead, I watched.
I watched someone I know quit smoking that's been well, like a smoking legend in my mind. I've discovered that all my smoking partners in crime have played a role in my life.
There's the Sunshine Party-Girl friend. Smoking with her was fun. We would light up with a twelve pack and giggle our asses off for hours. It was chick bonding without the drama of other chicks. A pack of smokes and a dozen empty cans later, we'd high five our throaty bedroom voices and yell to all the boys that drove by, "Is it you? Are you the one?" and then collapse into more giggles because at that time, "the one" was a joke.
There's the No Bullshit-I'm Honest to the Core-Best friend. Smoking with her was a ritual. Hours were spent talking, smoking, crying, laughing, discussing the ups and downs of life, endings of marriages (um yeah, those would be mine, two in fact), one night stands or lack thereof, raising kids, religion, and the craziness of just getting through life. We bonded on such a deep level over an ashtray, it was hard to imagine not having that anymore. How would we communicate now? And almost more troublesome, what the hell would we do with our hands?
Then we have The Other Half smoker. This of course refers to MY other half. My sounding board. My dork fest partner. My occasional head-butting competitor. At a very dark and scary time - my enemy.And now, the one that I never want to live without. Most evenings not so long ago, we could be found on our porch swing with a beer and smoke, talking about nothing and everything. Our discussions would span our workday, what was going on with the kids, our families, religion (wow - these would be a doozy. Sometimes I would go through an entire pack on these discussions - praise the Lawd!) our marriage, how our marriage might end, and how our marriage was saved.
We quit smoking together.
I confess, when there has been a weak moment, it has been mine.
There was one night, two weeks ago, and he found a smoke in the garage. Oh my - it was like he just told me he found a $100 bill and I could go shopping at Target and have ice cream after. I was freakin' ecstatic! Giddy I tell you, I couldn't wait to get my lips on that thing. We decided to share and prepared ourselves. Slippers, jackets, beers, and oh crap - where is a lighter? For the love of....!?! Are there any matches in this house?! Ah, yes! It was raining so we went into the garage and lit it up.
I have to admit, it wasn't all I had hoped for. My expectations were way too high. It was like going on a date with a really hot guy, or ok wait, maybe a really funny guy so he looks hotter than he really is. Ok, he doesn't look hot at all but you're trying not to be a bitch about it. He's just funny. Conversation is good, laughs are abundant and so is the alcohol. Next thing you know,. making out, clothes are off and then ...whoa nelly! Where is it?? And then, even worse because you've already made all these excuses for him; it's how you work it, it's chilly in here, the alcohol..... but......that's it?? Already? Really?
yeah, it was kind of like that.
So, that's the last one I have had. Not that I haven't craved one. Because I have. But then I think of the funny guy with the small weenie and it kills it for me.
Then there's The Legend Smoker. Now I don't want to overdo it here so don't let the name fool you. I call him this because well, it seems like he has always smoked, that he always would smoke, and he didn't really give a shit what you thought of him smoking although he was never rude or obnoxious about it. You know, the way legends should be. Except that he quit. Just like that. Bought some gum and started chewing.
I watched him and I was amazed.
He did what I didn't think I could do. He abandoned our smoking circle to go off on his own and quit. Quietly. No blog. No facebook. No fanfare. Just quit. And as far as I know, he still isn't smoking.
It was a domino effect. I decided I wanted to quit too. My Other Half was with me. My Party Girl friend had already quit as well as my No Bullshit-I'm Honest to the Core-Best friend. I was the last to go. But I went.
It hasn't all been easy. there were days when I would have been quite happy to rip my own face off or chew my hand to the bone. One night while I was arguing with my ex, I frantically looked for my package of Don't Smoke Dummy gum and shoved in one piece, then two, then 3 pieces of gum at once. I chewed viciously until my jaw started popping.
But here I am. Still Smoke free. yay!
I don't know what my label would be, how I would be described. Addicted is what I was. Addicted is what I still am.
I'm just abstaining. For now, today, and hopefully, forever.
My veggie body feels amazing. No more bad food. No more bad sugar. No more bad soda. And now, no more bad rat poison. Sweet.
It's been awesome my veggie friends. I have so much more bubbling up inside me. Until next time..... :)
